You wake up on a Monday morning. Conduct your daily scroll through Instagram, Twitter, Facebook. What do you see? Selfies of friends on their work commutes. A few Monday inspirational quotes. Your basic has hashtags: #workflow, #grindtime. Okay. that’s fine.

You get home Monday evening all you really want to do is sit and eat. Maybe take a nap. You plop down on your couch or bed and take a peek at your Instagram. What do you see? Photos of people in their new name brand outfits. Your friends are steady grinding. #TeamNoSleep. Right…

It’s Saturday morning. You’ve had a hard busy week. You feel like sleeping in until you see your news feed on Facebook. Posts saying “Up and at ‘em!” … “Headed to the gym!”…. “While you’re laying in your bed I’m stacking up this money!” Seriously? Now, this is getting ridiculous.

Is there really no rest for the weary?

Why do we feel obligated to share our every move? Today, there’s an unspoken pressure to let everyone know what you’re doing every minute of every day. On the flip side, there’s an additional stress to make sure you have something share worthy to show all of your followers that you’re driven and not lazy and that you’re living the life of your dreams.

Social media is becoming the 21st century edition of keeping up with the Joneses!

Meanwhile, we’re also putting unnecessary pressure on ourselves when we compare our daily lives with the lives people choose to broadcast. It can be a little disheartening when I go online and see people getting great deals and new things, making new moves.

While at certain points, sharing our successes and daily rituals through social media can be cathartic and even motivational, eventually it becomes a little overwhelming almost to the point of bragging when you see the same person hyping up their every minor move (You’re going to work. in a new outfit. again. I get it.)

This is not to say that we should feel bad for celebrating our life achievements on social media. I am saying that the feeling of inadequacy that accompanies a daily scroll through social media accounts is unnecessary. We put so much pressure on ourselves and each other. Just because people can’t see what you’re doing doesn’t mean you’re not doing anything. Not to mention it sets an unrealistic standard. No one’s life is “on” 24 hours a day. Even Oprah sleeps.

Meanwhile, there are people who will actually make their followers feel bad if they aren’t keeping up wit their momentum. These are Cyber Bullies 2.0. They’re always posting selfless in the gym, of their suit and tie combo, of their never ending night life, of them spending money on expensive “business trips”, of their new car. Does anyone know what these people actually do for a living?!  All the while, they’re so in touch with the entire world’s news that they have a criticism for every “injustice” and policy that’s happening. Please forgive me if I don’t know the most recent crisis in Djibouti. I just don’t have the time.

If we carry on comparing our journey to the journeys of others, we’ll never feel like we’re good enough. The only person you should compare yourself with is you. What are your goals? What is your timeline? What is possible for you?

So what if your YouTube videos don’t have a million views? So what if you’d rather hit the snooze button than jump out of bed and get to work? So what if you haven’t bought a new house or new car or that great 6-figure job yet?

Keep in mind, people only share the good stuff. You won’t see people sharing their sorrowful moments online (#SuperSadSelfies, if you will). People don’t share their car getting towed. Or their massive pile of school loans. Or their loved one’s gravesite. People don’t always expose the hardships and setbacks that make their steps toward success more believable and more relatable.

Remember, we’re all human, and we all have struggles and frustrations. We should not compare our progress to the progresses of others. Success comes in all shapes and sizes and at various times. Your time will come. And it will come again.

In a piece in the New Yorker, Malcolm Gladwell wrote: “On the road to great achievement, the late bloomer will resemble failure” I interpret that to mean that sometimes when success doesn’t come as quickly as we would like, we confuse that with ultimate failure in achieving our dreams. All the while, our goals are still very much attainable even if they don’t follow the same timeframe as others.

So, here’s some realistic motivation I’d like to add to the social conversation: Don’t let anyone make you feel inferior for your journey. Slow progress is still progress. It is better to get there on time and be prepared than to rush and end up completely over your head.

So keep working hard. And keep taking naps!

If you need some extra encouragement, follow this lovely young lady:

I still find it hard to wrap my mind around the fact that one of my friends isn’t alive anymore. I don’t like to say he was killed the way cancer or disease or car accidents kill the body. He didn’t just die like people do when they get older or have a heart attack or stroke. My friend was murdered. His life was taken from him by another life. My life-long friend Victor was shot and killed in a parking lot in Newport News, Virginia. He was only 23 years old and would’ve turned 24 just weeks after the shooting. He was a father and a friend. Now he is another nameless face in the list of victims of gun violence in my city and in this country.

There will be no marches in the street for Victor. His mother won’t be invited to the White House. The President isn’t going to cry on national television over his death. The world will never know the young man who always kept people laughing, who was always trying to have fun, and who had unconditional love for his young son. And the people who did know him will never know the man he could’ve grown to be. And its a shame, really. It’s a shame that violence like this is too common to make a big deal of it each time a person gets shot in the street.

When someone gets killed in this country, I think we get sad for a few minutes then eventually get on with our lives. I don’t want that to happen in Victor’s case. It’s so easy for us to turn a blind eye to all of the violence going on all around us all of the time. The violence against young people in our communities, especially young people of color, is like a modern-day lynching. Just as crowds gathered around the bodies hanging from trees, today’s Americans stand idly by as our young people are slain in parking lots in Virginia, while walking home in Florida, in public parks in Chicago, and in elementary schools in Connecticut.

We are a nation in denial about what is happening in our front yards, right before our eyes. We legitimize this violence in the name of our Constitutional rights. But the issue of “gun control” is not a political issue, it is a moral one. No person who values life can value the usage of guns and weapons. A gun’s only function is to take life away. Despite what advocates for weapons may say, protecting someone’s right to bare arms is not more important that protecting the people’s rights to life. But even with all of the horrific and bloody murders that take place in the country, we still can’t seem to put a face to these lost lives and protect those who are still living. But Victor’s face will always be in my mind.

RIP Vick

At his wake, I held Victor’s mother and we cried while looking down at his face for the last time. But I keep thinking that he wasn’t the only life that was lost that night. While one mother has to bury her son, another mother will have her son put in jail for a senseless murder. That’s the life cycle of murder in our communities: One body goes in the ground, another body goes in a jail cell. Who wins in this scenario? We are living in a culture in which young men have a need to prove themselves to a society that tells them that “you aren’t a man” if you let yourself get punked. When someone steps on your shoe, looks at your girlfriend or boyfriend, posts on your Facebook page or what have you, we feel we have no choice but to react. There’s a hopelessness to this lifestyle. We get into arguments and allow our anger to escalate to the point when the only way to solve a problem is to end a life. So many self images are warped by false ideals of what it takes to be a “real man”.

Victor and son

Victor was a man. He was a loyal friend. He was a selfless father. He was one of the funniest, hyperactive, brutally honest people I’ve ever known. He was an athlete, a college graduate, and natural comedian. He tried to make a joke out of every stressful situation. He didn’t need to use violence or anger to get what he wanted out of life. I know there are others who aren’t able to see another way to live their lives without arguments, fighting, and guns. Funerals, drive-bys, and constant crime is the reality for too many of our young people. We’re exposed to violence which makes it easier for us to transcend into violent lifestyles ourselves. I’m sure in some cases, a gun seems like the only thing in life that you can use to escape the frustrating restrictions of life in our communities. We have unemployment, lack of interest in school, and such a comical ease in getting weapons, our young people turn to violence as a outlet for brief control in a society that automatically writes them off.

Victor was very young when he succumbed to his fate. He would have celebrated his 24th birthday just 5 weeks after the shooting that took his life. Although I’d like to think he’s still turning up at a birthday party somewhere in the universe, he is not here to celebrate with his friends and family who continue to mourn his loss. One bullet took away that birthday. Unfortunately, this is the fate that seems to awaits many young black men. Violence is not definitely not just a black issue, but it cannot be denied that violent crimes plague areas with high black populations like an incurable disease. According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, homicide is the leading cause of death for Black men ages 15-19. Is that shocking to anyone besides me?

Apparently not. Shortly after the news broke of another fatal shooting in Hampton Roads, my fellow citizens took to the Internet ready to criticize the victims in the shooting that took Victor’s life. Comments like: “not shocked by another murder on the Peninsula” … “I do wonder, how have you lived your life?” … “keep wanting to live like a gangsta you’re gonna die like one” made me want to cry. We blame others for having to live life in a violent depression instead of trying to find a solution. We don’t help the ex-offenders in our communities resimilate into society, we don’t press upon our children the doors their education can open for them, we shame our single mothers away from getting government assistance so their families turn to crime to provide for their basic needs. We suffer from an endless stream of disappointments that cause us to react violently in desperation.

I don’t pretend to be an expert on guns, life in “the ‘hood”, the Constitution, or even what really happened the night Victor lost his life. But I know we’ll never make progress if we keep allowing the lack of opportunities in our neighborhoods to make us to feel hopeless and worthless. That’s how we break this cycle and claim victory over violence: We reclaim the value of life. We show our young people all of the doors an education can open for them. We press upon others how much more courage it takes to be “weak” and to not react. We help others who need help, instead of making them feel ashamed. Jimmy Greene, father of 6 year old Ana Grace who was killed in the Sandy Hook shooting said it best: “we’re so consumed by the political fight…what about the fight for our children”. We are indeed in a fight for our lives. At the end of the day, our political standpoints won’t protect us. Our young people need to have a shot at a life filled with success, not a shot through the body with a bullet.

I see all of my friends and family posting to social media “Live4Vick”, “RIPVick”, “Gone but not forgotten” and the other typical mantras used to commemorate a lost life. But I sincerely hope we never do forget Victor or the others wounded and killed by unnecessary violence in this country. I hope we do live our lives for these fallen souls and stop taking lives away. The best way I can honor Victors memory is to never forget what happened to him. We all can use our gifts to uplift the hopeless young man who sees a gun as the only way to control what goes on around him. We can control our emotions when we begin to get angry about little things. We can try to love instead.

I titled this piece “Victory over Violence” in memory of my friend Victor and also in the hope that one day this nation and people of color will rise above our tendencies to hurt one another. I know nothing we do will bring back the loved ones we’ve lost. But we should not allow ourselves or others to forget what happened to the ones we’ve lost. We have to really live for those who’ve died. We may never have a true victory over violence, but everyday we can make progress toward a more peaceful existence.

A short while back, Rihanna premiered her music video for her hit single “Pour It Up“. The song itself is superficial, glorifying the extravagant lifestyle of the obscenely rich, famous, and wasteful. But the video pushes new limits. It depicts Rihanna throwing money in the air, smoking cigars, and grinding and twerking on a golden throne. While she’s busy doing that, viewers will also see nearly naked strippers sliding effortlessly up and down poles and splashing around in ankle-deep waters.

The explicit video spawned quite a conversation on social media. A lot of RiRi fans absolutely loved it. Then again, a lot of people didn’t love it at all. Most notably on my memory, the Around The Way Curls blog took to Instagram condemning the video saying that Rihanna went “too damn far” and that “there is a big difference between freedom and enslavement”.

This particular comment got me thinking: Are women becoming more sexually free or are we slaves to the expectations of an over sexualized media?

I’m on the side of sexual freedom.

In most media, women are depicted as sexual objects and are usually submissive to men. Black women and Latinas are the most objectified when it comes to sex in the media. We’re the vixens and the video hoes, existing solely for the pleasure of the men we dance on and around.

But here, we see Rihanna, self-proclaimed “bad girl”, being completely sexy without a single man present (unless you count the production team and crew). She’s sexy for the sake of being sexy,  taking complete control of her sensuality and giving other women permission to do the same. Shouldn’t women–particularly women of color–be a little more proud and excited about the video?

Sex is a universally taboo topic of discussion but women tend to get more criticism than men when we talk about it. On Twitter earlier this year, Amber Rose posted a Tweet about her husband, rapper Wiz Khalifa, ejaculating on her face. She received quite a bit of backlash and was called a whore. A whore, for talking about sex with her husband and father of her child. But songs with lyrics like “I wish I could fuck every girl in the world” lead to soaring album sales. Taylor Swift writes songs about her ex-boyfriends and she gets boycotted by a baptist church. Miguel releases a single describing his efforts to get a woman drunk so she’d sleep with him and it becomes an instant hit. Why is it okay for men to talk about sex with us women, but we can’t be expressive about our own sex lives?

The urban adage “lady in the streets, freak in the sheets” comes to mind. This basically means that if you’re a woman, you have a perceived responsibility to keep your sex life private if you’re to be seen as respectable. Women are usually the subjects of sexual conversation and sexual media. But when women themselves talk about sex or are seen enjoying and wanting sex, suddenly, they are whores. Suddenly we don’t respect ourselves or any other women. In essence, we’re meant to be seen, not heard.

But Rihanna’s “Pour It Up” video cries out loud: “I’m sexy andI know it!” I feel a new wave of freedoms coming along for women: the freedom to express ourselves sexually. But when we do so, we put ourselves at the mercy of men and women who will say that we are going too far. When is too far really too far?

One major criticism of Rihanna is that she’s a bad role model. It’s a widely held belief that she is a negative influence on impressional young black girls who listen to her hit records like “S&M” and see pictures of her scantily clad and smoking weed. Her sexual and scandalous behavior may be encouraging others to adopt her lifestyle. In fact, earlier this year, The Daily Mail attacked Rihanna for her “slutty” behavior. Some have even speculated that the pressures of the music industry caused Rihanna to drop her innocent pop image and instead become the sexy rebellious vixen we see today.

Janelle Monae

Does the media really have that much control over our lives that we’re slaves to it? Does it make us think about sex and being sexy too much? Perhaps we give the media too much credit for dictating what we care about and how we should behave. It could be that the media is beginning to reflect the sexual freedoms of the modern woman. And that freedom includes being overtly sexy and not being sexy at all. I’m reminded of Janelle Monae, an equally strong presence in the music industry as Rihanna is, who said in the May issue of Essence Magazine, she wants to “redefine what it means to be sexy…(and) to show people and young girls there’s another way”

Media is helping us be more expressive and think about sex in an entirely new way. The media didn’t invent sex, after all. At the end of the day, we’re not slaves, we’re very free. We’re free to be ourselves whether that’s sexually expressive or modest and conservative unapologetically and without judgement. We are free to choose.

Is it racist to prefer to see people who look like you in places of fame, beauty, and adoration? Singer/Songwriter (and eye-candy) Maxwell recently took to Instagram calling many of his followers “racists” when they commented on his photos complaining about not seeing enough women of color on his Instagram.

I also have been called a racist in social media when I noticed an absence of brown skinned women featured on the popular Instagram page, OOTD (Outfit of the Day) Magazine a few months ago. In response to my comments saying that @OOTDMagazine should feature more people of color, people said such ludicrous things like “black women aren’t interested in fashion, everyone knows that” and “why do blacks always complain about not being included in things? Everything is not a race issue.”

Maybe I’m just a cynic, hyper aware of the absence of women who look like me in fashion, film, art, business, basically everywhere I look in mainstream and corporate America. But it could be that too often Black women just aren’t a popular inclusion in pop culture.

So I took it upon myself to remind society, my “sistas”, and myself about all there is to love about Black women. This list could and should be longer. But here are 8 ways and reasons to love Black Women (Warning: this may seem a little “racist” to all you non-black womanists out there. Oh well.)

1. Our Confidence: Perhaps the most loved and most hated feature of the black woman is her attitude. We’re renown for being bold and sassy. Yet, Black women are often criticized for being too “hard”, too “angry”, or too “loud”. Excuse us for wanting to be heard, for sharing our emotions and opinions openly, and for refusing to step aside and allow discord and nonsense to enter into our lives. I think one of the best embodiments of the confidence of a Black woman can be found in 3-time star of NBC’s The Apprentice, Omarosa Manigault. Shrewd, intelligent, and unforgiving, she was labeled “evil” and “bitchy” for being unapologetically strong and direct. Our confidence and independence is often mistaken for rudeness and disrespect. In reality, Black women carry themselves with pride and class, demanding the attention and respect we deserve.

2. Our History: We are descendants of grandmothers and great-grandmothers who ruled tribes and kingdoms, led slaves to freedom, became entrepreneurs and millionaires, and broke color barriers in schools, sports, and science. Remember Harriet Tubman and Sojourner Truth? How about Cleopatra and Nefertiti? Do Hattie McDaniel and  Fannie Lou Hamer ring a bell? We don’t learn as much as we should about our rich and colorful history in schools. But we have so many great footsteps to follow in. There’s a lot of pain in the pasts of the black woman. But there’s also a lot in our history to be proud of. Thanks to the struggles and triumphs of black women, we have a hope to move forward into a brighter, fairer future. Where would the world be without us?

3. Our Hair: Despite the popular “I am not my hair” mantra, there’s a lot to be said about the hair on the head of a Black woman. It’s as varied as our bodies, backgrounds, and ambitions. I’m not just talking about natural hair, either. What other race of women have been so creative and innovative with their hair styles? From cornrows to weaves to afros to shaved and to relaxers, Black hair has opened doors for many woman to own salons and business, create products, become models, and show off their unique personal style and be themselves. Our hair is misunderstood when it should be admired for its many textures and beauty (please ask before you touch it, though).

4. Our Skin: It’s the most obvious thing that sets us apart. Our skin is rich and saturated in beautiful tan, brown, bronze, and ebony tones that can’t duplicated (not even in a tanning salon). Melanin keeps our skin smooth and firm despite the sun. Clothes and makeup pop against our dark hues making our skin very fashionable. Unfortunately, you won’t find all of our colors in your pharmacy’s makeup aisle. And nudes and neutrals stand out on us more than they blend in. That’s because black and brown women are still considered “exotic” and therefore, not normal. In film and literature, darkness is usually associated with evil. Villains usually wear darker colors and have darker skin. Our skin defies this stereotype and shows that there is beauty in black and brown. Our pigmentation is perfect.

5. Our Bodies: This is probably my favorite thing about being a Black woman. I naturally come by the curves other women and celebrities pay to enhance their bodies with. History and hip-hop will have people think of Black women’s bodies as objects existing only for the pleasure and entertainment of men. And sadly, many women of color grow up ashamed of our large breasts and butts, wide eyes and noses, thick lips and thighs, or what have you. Or they’re embarrassed not to have these parts. Our look is too fierce versatile to confined to be ashamed of. Just because we don’t fit European standards doesn’t mean we’re flawed.

6. Our Resilience: A friend of mine told me one of the best things about a black woman is her laugh. Our laughter is an expression of release and escape from the burdens we carry and the discrimination we face daily. Black women represent two marginalized groups yet have risen above and beyond what is traditionally expected. We work hard and tirelessly in our work and in our homes to create the lives we dream of for ourselves, our children, and our communities. Think of women like Maya Angelou, Oprah Winfrey, and Maxine Waters who have used the angst of their past as a push into promising careers and inspire men and women of all races. At the end of the day, we’re stronger. We maintain feminine sensibilities while bearing masculine responsibilities. And we face it all with a smile on our face and laughter in our souls.

Tina Turner, age 73

7. Our Grace: A popular fact among the women I interviewed to compile this list was that “black just don’t crack”. Black women are the picture definition of graceful aging. Consider the dynamic Tina Turner, the multifaceted Diana Ross, and the illustrious Chaka Khan all moving, grooving and entertaining for decades and generations and not looking a day over 30. Not only do women of color physically age with grace, but with that age often comes the great wisdom found only in Black matriarchs. Black mothers are able to hold families together through simultaneous discipline and love. A Black woman can’t help but carry herself with class and poise, even if all hell is breaking loose around her. The grace of a Black woman transcends time.

8. Our Individuality: To create this list I asked many different women of color of different shades, sizes, social status, sexualities, ages, education, profession, religions, you name it to tell me what they loved about black women. They all gave me answers as different as their backgrounds about the fullness of black womanhood. We have varied interests ranging from music to architecture to science to film to fashion to advocacy to politics to the pulpit to education to business and beyond! And we come from different places, families, and classes. While we have many things in common, black women don’t fit the stereotype. But we can all leave behind a legacy of love for ourselves and other black women and inspire young girls of color to embrace what makes them stand out.

The sad truth is that someone out there will take this list and turn it into all the reasons not to love a Black woman. And someone out there will still call me racist for being proud of the legacy of black womanhood I come from. While many would reject us for our skin tones, our body shapes, the way we talk, walk, dress, or wear our hair, know inside and show outside that you are worth all the love and respect in the world. I think the best way to show love for ourselves is to love one another. If we can make someone else/other women feel special and beautiful, we may end up feeling better about ourselves. Be yourself in all of your ways and others will love you for it.

In the Reconstruction Era, Americans created an image of young black men with uncontrollable inclinations to violence, to raping white women and to harming white families who could only be stopped by a noose around their necks. In the New Millennium, a team of defense lawyers paint a picture of a black child armed with speed, superior power in his fist and concrete as his weapon who could only be stopped by a bullet through his heart.

This year, we have witnessed a 21^st Century lynching. We witnessed a gang of men criminalize the life of 17-year-old Trayvon Martin. We witnessed the murderer of a child declared “not guilty” by a jury of white women. We witnessed our legal system justify the killing of black youth because of the fear of grown white men. And all black Americans could do was watch with teary eyes and fists balled with fury, feeling helpless and disappointed.

Lynchings served as reminders to blacks and minorities to stay in our place in America or else we’d find ourselves swinging from a tree. The trial of George Zimmerman reminds black America that we are still strange fruit. We are still unwelcome additions to the country we were forced to call home. We make “real” residents so uncomfortable that once again, they can legally kill us where we stand.

So what do we do when history repeats itself? What do we do when we can’t look to our leaders or our justice system to give us the freedoms others enjoy? We become leaders ourselves. We should become the 21^st Century Malcolm Xs, Rosa Parks, Assata Shakurs, Stokely Carmichaels, and Dr. King Jrs. We should never forget their teachings. We should never forget our bloodied and battered pasts, and we should never forget Trayvon Martin or the feeling we had watching his murderer go free.

Dear Jamila,

First let me thank you for taking the time to research (I use that term loosely) and write your article for “Beyond Black and White“.  You provided eye-opening insight into your thoughts and the thoughts of others. The “issue” you wrote about, however is not as black and white as you made it appear. The idea that black women must somehow “choose” between education and marriage is absurd as if the two are mutually exclusive.

[see Jamila’s full article here]

Perhaps your goal was to warn young black women about making “bad choices”. But I’m not sure if you realize the danger and mental damage you present with these poorly researched facts to the masses of educated and/or single black women. I sincerely hope no woman internalized your opinion (because it is just that: an opinion, not fact).

I’m blessed to be surrounded by educated and loving women of color with degrees, without degrees, in relationships and out of relations and neither are more valuable or better off the other. I’m curious to know whether this is a trend that only impacts women of color. Do white women need to have the same concerns about the value of their education? I’m also curious to know should black men also practice what you’re preaching.  Are you beseeching black men to also abandon their education and pursue married lives? I doubt you hold the same requirements for happiness for men. So why do you require it of me?

So comical and telling that woman’s choices are again reduced to 1. Marriage first 2. Everything else afterwards. I didn’t know that my life’s plans revolve around being married. When you say things like that, you insinuate that a woman is only valuable if she is valued by a man. (Not to mention you set the Feminist movement back at least 100 years. smh…)

Steinem and Hughes

How about we focus on some real problems: the retention rate of our young black men and women in school, or the disproportional incarceration rate of the black men who I’m supposed to be setting my sights on, or the high divorce rate among black marriages (possibly resulting from rushed nuptials)

Are you assuming that women only go to college as a last resort? Please don’t discredit my education. The pursuit of education represents much more than a piece of sheepskin paper to many people. It represents the results of perseverance, the overcoming of obstacles, the pride of loved ones, the blessings of God, the pursuit of dreams. It means that I and other women can accomplish anything we set our mind to including find a mate but we don’t need anyone to provide for us. Your article suggests that women should give all of that up to sleep next to a man at night.

Given the choice, I can honestly say I would choose my career goals over marriage. I’d sacrifice my own sexual satisfaction and perceived comfort at night for the pursuit of my goals and to impact the lives of other people through my career path and education. The thought that I’m achieving my life’s ambition and being an inspiration to at least one other person while being supported and encouraged by people who love me is in fact more satisfying than a penis, if I may say so.

So, my degree won’t keep me warm at night? Why do you assume that a man won’t want me because I’m institutionally educated? If anything, I’m a more viable candidate for a mate because I’m already mentally and emotional together and focused. And if a man doesn’t want me because I’ve achieved my goals, please believe I don’t want him either. Not to mention all of the blankets, duvets, space heaters and centrally heated homes I can purchase with my $30 million salary difference I’ll accumulate with my bachelor’s degree. You can keep your bigoted “soul mate”

This post is not meant to discredit any person who strongly desires marriage for their life. I hope to one day be married myself to someone who respects and admires me and my dreams. Marriage and love are wonderful life choices created and ordained by God and are very beneficial to health and the pursuit of happiness. But I know myself. I couldn’t enter a marriage being incomplete. A man will not complete me. Only I can complete myself.

How sad and maddening it is to know that in 2013 there are still people who believe that a woman’s life is incomplete until she is married or in a relationship. To quote one of my favorite vloggers, The 1 Janitor: “Finding a mate is not actually the purpose of being alive”. I will add that it might be a great perk, though.