Are we sexually free or slaves to a sexy media?

A short while back, Rihanna premiered her music video for her hit single “Pour It Up“. The song itself is superficial, glorifying the extravagant lifestyle of the obscenely rich, famous, and wasteful. But the video pushes new limits. It depicts Rihanna throwing money in the air, smoking cigars, and grinding and twerking on a golden throne. While she’s busy doing that, viewers will also see nearly naked strippers sliding effortlessly up and down poles and splashing around in ankle-deep waters.

The explicit video spawned quite a conversation on social media. A lot of RiRi fans absolutely loved it. Then again, a lot of people didn’t love it at all. Most notably on my memory, the Around The Way Curls blog took to Instagram condemning the video saying that Rihanna went “too damn far” and that “there is a big difference between freedom and enslavement”.

This particular comment got me thinking: Are women becoming more sexually free or are we slaves to the expectations of an over sexualized media?

I’m on the side of sexual freedom.

In most media, women are depicted as sexual objects and are usually submissive to men. Black women and Latinas are the most objectified when it comes to sex in the media. We’re the vixens and the video hoes, existing solely for the pleasure of the men we dance on and around.

But here, we see Rihanna, self-proclaimed “bad girl”, being completely sexy without a single man present (unless you count the production team and crew). She’s sexy for the sake of being sexy,  taking complete control of her sensuality and giving other women permission to do the same. Shouldn’t women–particularly women of color–be a little more proud and excited about the video?

Sex is a universally taboo topic of discussion but women tend to get more criticism than men when we talk about it. On Twitter earlier this year, Amber Rose posted a Tweet about her husband, rapper Wiz Khalifa, ejaculating on her face. She received quite a bit of backlash and was called a whore. A whore, for talking about sex with her husband and father of her child. But songs with lyrics like “I wish I could fuck every girl in the world” lead to soaring album sales. Taylor Swift writes songs about her ex-boyfriends and she gets boycotted by a baptist church. Miguel releases a single describing his efforts to get a woman drunk so she’d sleep with him and it becomes an instant hit. Why is it okay for men to talk about sex with us women, but we can’t be expressive about our own sex lives?

The urban adage “lady in the streets, freak in the sheets” comes to mind. This basically means that if you’re a woman, you have a perceived responsibility to keep your sex life private if you’re to be seen as respectable. Women are usually the subjects of sexual conversation and sexual media. But when women themselves talk about sex or are seen enjoying and wanting sex, suddenly, they are whores. Suddenly we don’t respect ourselves or any other women. In essence, we’re meant to be seen, not heard.

But Rihanna’s “Pour It Up” video cries out loud: “I’m sexy andI know it!” I feel a new wave of freedoms coming along for women: the freedom to express ourselves sexually. But when we do so, we put ourselves at the mercy of men and women who will say that we are going too far. When is too far really too far?

One major criticism of Rihanna is that she’s a bad role model. It’s a widely held belief that she is a negative influence on impressional young black girls who listen to her hit records like “S&M” and see pictures of her scantily clad and smoking weed. Her sexual and scandalous behavior may be encouraging others to adopt her lifestyle. In fact, earlier this year, The Daily Mail attacked Rihanna for her “slutty” behavior. Some have even speculated that the pressures of the music industry caused Rihanna to drop her innocent pop image and instead become the sexy rebellious vixen we see today.

Janelle Monae

Does the media really have that much control over our lives that we’re slaves to it? Does it make us think about sex and being sexy too much? Perhaps we give the media too much credit for dictating what we care about and how we should behave. It could be that the media is beginning to reflect the sexual freedoms of the modern woman. And that freedom includes being overtly sexy and not being sexy at all. I’m reminded of Janelle Monae, an equally strong presence in the music industry as Rihanna is, who said in the May issue of Essence Magazine, she wants to “redefine what it means to be sexy…(and) to show people and young girls there’s another way”

Media is helping us be more expressive and think about sex in an entirely new way. The media didn’t invent sex, after all. At the end of the day, we’re not slaves, we’re very free. We’re free to be ourselves whether that’s sexually expressive or modest and conservative unapologetically and without judgement. We are free to choose.

55 thoughts on “Are we sexually free or slaves to a sexy media?

  1. I totally agree. Think about it, we’re constantly punished for our sexual freedoms, we get chastised for even thinking about it. It turns into the age old argument of what men can do and what women can’t. The world depresses me.

  2. First of all I want to say terrific web page! I had a brief question which I’d wish to ask when you don’t mind. I was curious to know the way you center yourself and clear your mind before writing. I’ve had a difficult time clearing my thoughts in getting my ideas out there. I definitely do enjoy writing but it just looks like the pretty first 10 to 15 minutes are generally lost basically just looking to figure out how to begin. Any suggestions or hints? Cheers!

  3. Nice post. I was checking constantly this blog and I’m impressed! Extremely helpful info particularly the last part 🙂 I care for such information much. I was seeking this certain information for a very long time. Thank you and good luck.

  4. I like what you guys are up also. Such clever work and reporting! Keep up the superb works guys I have incorporated you guys to my blogroll. I think it will improve the value of my site 🙂

  5. I do accept as true with all the ideas you have introduced in your post. They’re really convincing and can definitely work. Still, the posts are very short for starters. May you please lengthen them a little from subsequent time? Thanks for the post.

  6. Thanks for the sensible critique. Me and my neighbor were just preparing to do a little research about this. We got a grab a book from our local library but I think I learned more clear from this post. I am very glad to see such fantastic info being shared freely out there.

  7. Howdy! This post couldn’t be written any better! Looking through this article reminds me of my previous roommate! He always kept preaching about this. I’ll forward this article to him. Pretty sure he’ll have a great read. Thanks for sharing!

  8. I’m impressed, I must say. Rarely do I come across a blog that’s equally educative and entertaining, and let me tell you, you have hit the nail on the head. The issue is something that not enough people are speaking intelligently about. I am very happy I came across this during my search for something relating to this.

  9. Thanks for a marvelous posting! I certainly enjoyed reading it, you may be a great author.I will make sure to bookmark your blog and will often come back later in life. I want to encourage you continue your great writing, have a nice weekend!

  10. May I simply just say what a comfort to discover a person that genuinely understands what they are talking about on the net. You certainly understand how to bring a problem to light and make it important. More and more people should check this out and understand this side of the story. I was surprised you are not more popular given that you definitely have the gift.

  11. The very next time I read a blog, Hopefully it does not fail me just as much as this one. I mean, I know it was my choice to read through, nonetheless I genuinely believed you would probably have something helpful to say. All I hear is a bunch of whining about something you could possibly fix if you weren’t too busy looking for attention.

  12. Pingback: buy hydrocodone

  13. I put a WordPress blog on my website a few days ago, and I was just curious about how it works. So I just want to know if all the posts are saved into a single file or if they are separate for each post. Then I also want to know where they can be found on my server. Thanks.

  14. Pingback: buy adderall xr

  15. I absolutely love your site.. Excellent colors & theme. Did you make this amazing site yourself? Please reply back as I’m planning to create my own personal blog and want to know where you got this from or exactly what the theme is named. Cheers!

  16. A motivating discussion is definitely worth comment. There’s no doubt that that you ought to publish more about this subject, it may not be a taboo matter but generally folks don’t discuss such topics. To the next! Best wishes!!

  17. Please let me know if you’re looking for a writer for
    your weblog. You have some really great articles and I believe I would be
    a good asset. If you ever want to take some of the load
    off, I’d love to write some content for your blog
    in exchange for a link back to mine. Please blast me an email if interested.

    Thank you!

  18. Spot on with this write-up, I seriously feel this site needs much more attention. I’ll probably be back again to read through more, thanks for the advice!

  19. I truly love your blog.. Pleasant colors & theme. Did you make this web site yourself? Please reply back as I’m planning to create my own site and would like to learn where you got this from or just what the theme is called. Thank you!

  20. Your style is unique compared to other people I’ve read stuff from. Thanks for posting when you’ve got the opportunity, Guess I’ll just bookmark this site.

  21. Oh my goodness! Amazing article dude! Many thanks, However I am going through difficulties with your RSS. I don’t know the reason why I cannot subscribe to it. Is there anyone else having identical RSS issues? Anybody who knows the answer will you kindly respond? Thanks!!

Leave a Reply to website templates Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *